Public Transportation Wisdom

Admit it, you don’t enjoy sitting next to strangers while riding the bus. I’m not saying that you dislike the person, or even that you think you are above that person whose thigh is now pressed up against yours and you are somehow to pretend you don’t notice. Rather, I identify with your preference to have a bench to yourself.

That is why I feel it is my civil duty to share with you some tips and do’s and don’ts of obtaining a solo seat…or a seat at all.

1)Study your bus-mates.
If you take a bus on a regular basis at a specific time of day, you should start to notice the regulars. Make an effort to learn their stops. This may sound like a painstaking task, but I assure you it will prove to be worthwhile when you board an overcrowded bus and you recognize someone who will be exiting soon. This way you can slyly maneuver yourself to be in optimal position to acquire the next free seat. Better yet, if the bus is not too crowded and you see a free seat next to someone who you know is getting off soon, you will have the whole bench to yourself shortly.

2)Make the seat next to you look undesirable.
Do NOT cough and sniffle in order to look contagious. It doesn’t necessarily make the seat next to you look undesirable, just YOU.
Do NOT wear a ticked-off expression on your face. I tried this method and all it did was leave me feeling guilty for the poor patrons who I stared down. Plus, my mood slowly matched the appearance on my face.
Do NOT put your backpack on the seat next to you and leave it there. I know this one is the most tempting and seems effective. But no one actually believes that your backpack is too precious to be put on the floor in front of you or on your lap. And don’t even try to convince me, or anyone else, that you are too busy gazing out the window with your ear-buds in to move your bag to allow me to sit down. I know you can sense my presence! It is the tactic of a coward.
So here is where I give you my most precious tip. All that I ask is that you only use it when there are other seats available for someone to take instead of yours.
When someone is walking down the isle choosing who they will sit beside, place your purse or bag onto the seat next to you and (this part is crucial) start looking through your bag. This way it appears as though you are only planning to take up the seat momentarily, not selfishly. Understandably, the person will find another seat and you can place your purse/bag back onto your lap and maintain good bus riding etiquette.

If your bus commute is long, I like to give people I see regularly nicknames. I don’t see them as insults, rather a friendly in-head greeting. For example, at 4:48pm I say hello to Chips Magee, a middle-aged woman who doesn’t see the error of slowly snacking on zesty cheese Doritos in a poorly ventilated bus.

And Tim, in response to your anticipated comment that I should get my license and shut up about the bus…At least I didn’t write about Jysk, or “Jisk,” as you ignorantly refer to it.

Annapolis Peace Summit

Prime Minister Stephen Harper
Government of Canada
Ottawa, Canada

Dear Prime Minister,

This last month, at our provincial annual meeting for Mennonite Central Committee, our featured speaker was a Palestinian Christian from East Jerusalem. He spoke about the realities for Palestinians, living under military occupation and oppression, about the severe economic crisis, the ongoing confiscation of land for Jewish settlements, the debilitating restrictions on movement, and the Israeli "security" wall which makes the prospects for a just and lasting peace ever more remote. He acknowledged that desperation is pushing some Palestinians to use violence against Israelis, as Israel continues its forceful occupation.

I wish to convey to you, our Prime Minister, my sincere and urgent hope that the Government of Canada will support the upcoming Peace Summit in Annapolis, Maryland. The cries for Palestinian justice must be heard, as also the Israeli cries for security. Canada and others in the international community must respond.

Accordingly, I urge you to work, both directly and together with other countries, to encourage all those involved in the talks to work for a just peace for all the people affected by this tragic conflict.

Sincerely,

Elizabeth Epp

Dear Mr. WestJet

I think we have a pretty good relationship. I prefer to use your services more than any other carrier. In fact, I'm pretty sure I can perform your aircraft safety shtick in my sleep, I've seen it so many times. I know you don't believe me because you still ask me to remove my headset and open the safety card found in the pocket directly in front of me. It's okay, I know you're just looking out for me. That's what friends do.

So Wes T. Jet, I know your busy season is coming up. Do you have big plans for the holiday season? I think it would be a nice gesture for you to send "Season's Greetings" to Air Canada. I know it may sound like I'm asking a lot of you, but this would make a great holiday special on CBC. You are going to spend Christmas with your family, I assume. I too am hoping to go home for the Christmas festivities. In fact, my employers are giving me nine days off! Isn't that fantastic? I knew you'd be happy for me. You always are so kind to me as I journey over the prairies to the coast. I know, I know, you agree that it is a little ridiculous that I have to chill in Calgary for an hour first. But hey, it's not so bad. I really like my Hello Kitty PEZ dispenser I picked up the last time.

With all that said, Mr. "Because owners care," I was wondering if at all possible...could you find it in your heart not to charge me $599 to go home? A simple seat-sale is all I ask.

You coming?

I'm a bad friend...

Yesterday, as I went through my old t-shirt pile to choose my pajamas for the night, I came across my #39 Cloutier t-shirt. This particular garment hasn't seen the light of day in quite some time. Not because I'm not longer a Dan supporter, but rather that I favour my newer (and much cuter!) pink #16 Linden tee. And I'll admit, it does sting a little to know that my former favourite Canuck goalie no longer bares the Orca on his Jersey. Which got me thinking...what jersey is Dany wearing anyways?

Have I become such a person who forgets about the existence of her friend (I had my picture taken with him...it counts)?

Since Dany hasn't quite accepted my Facebook friend request (busyness, I'm sure), it was off to the Kings website. I found it rather odd that they wouldn't include their goalie in the roster. Who is Jean-Sebastien Aubin??
Google would surely solve the mystery.

Dan Cloutier has been sent to the Manchester Monarchs.

How did this happen? Simple.
We, Vancouver as a collective, destroyed him.
It isn't enough that our papers (I mean you, Tony Gallagher), and morning radio hosts verbally assualted him just days after they sang his praise. Nope. There were rumours about him too. The most outrageous accusation I've heard yet is that Cloutier was in a brutal car accident with his Porsche Cayanne. Let me get this straight. First people badger him and say he can't get in the way of a little puck, now they claim he managed to get infront of a whole car? Please.
We stripped him of his career, let's atleast spare the man his dignity.

Here's to your comeback, Dany.

I've been 'High Fived' by Erica

Five things that made me smile last week:
1) I saw the same family playing with their border collie every time my bus passed the park. Happy people, happy dog, happy Liz.
2) I was offered a permanent position at MCC Saskatchewan.
3) I ordered cds from Amazon. For me, listening to a new cd is like having your first conversation with someone. a) You find that you really enjoy them and plan to hang out regularly. Or b)You realize you have nothing in common with them, end the conversation before it gets too lengthy and try to avoid them when you happen to pass them by in the future.
4) April and I took a cab to the grocery store. We're so city.
5) Asian malls. When I was in high school, sticker pictures and photo collector cards were the defining factor of popularity and coolness. The picture below was taken in August, but I found it last week as I was going through my wallet. Yep...I smiled.


Anyone else smiling about something?

"You must be born again" John 3:7

Last night, April and I were having one of our heart to hearts before heading to bed. Sometimes I wonder why we don't talk like that early in the evening when we have energy. But I guess fatigue removes inhibitions and we're more open to talk about our personal lives. Also...when I'm tired, I ramble. Rambling often leads to the spewing of thoughts, insights and emotions that I only come to realize after the words escape my lips. It is then that I usually think I'm brilliant. :)

Anyways, April and I were discussing tragedy. More specifically, death.

Of course we ask ourselves why. Why someone so young? Why someone who had their whole lives ahead of them?

That is when the answer, "To further the Kingdom," really gets to me. In all honesty, that response usually doesn't satisfy me. It sits like lead in my stomach. All too often it just seems like a verbal reflex. Do I really know what I'm saying? Or do I throw it out there because I don't know what else to say when a loved one is experiencing grief beyond comprehension? If this person was so godly and had such a powerful and positive impact on the lives of others, wouldn't it work better to keep them alive?

So as I lay on April's bed, I pondered. Maybe we just have these ideas of what a full life looks like. God needs to remind me that watching three children play through the kitchen window while I make supper, isn't necessarily what His Kingdom looks like. I have never done anything to earn or deserve such blessings, really. And don't even get me started on 'rights'.

Then this morning I was reading Oswald Chambers. Good man. In response to Nicodemus' question, "How can a man be born when he is old?" (John 3:4), Chambers goes on to say, "Only when he is willing to die to everything in his life, including his rights, his virtues, and his religion and becomes willing to receive himself a new life that he has never before experienced"

Ah...I get it. Do I want a new life? Do I want to see the Kingdom? So I ask myself, "Am I seeking only for the evidence of God's kingdom,or am I actually recognizing His absolute sovereign control?"

God doesn't need to prove to me that His timing is right. In the case of the passing of a loved one, seeking for evidence of God's kingdom would be like asking the Lord for a spreadsheet indicating how many people have come to know Him since the funeral. As difficult as it is, I'd rather trust that God's mighty, compassionate and merciful hand is in control.

"Mennonite Central Committee, this is Liz speaking"

I normally avoid picking up calls at work. Years at Dr. Wong's will do that to you. After answering loads ridiculous questions and requests while I sat at my desk in an unconditioned office full of agitated patients, I lost all faith in the general public. As a whole, people just aren't that bright. Or at least the people who find the need to call a receptionist thinking she will be able to diagnose a rash by describing detailed symptoms (colour, texture, size) and location.

Since I'm not a receptionist at MCC, I thought my days of strange phone calls were over. The few calls that I will grab will be people with legitimate questions or concerns, right?

Well, I guess that depends on your definition of legitimate. Genuine, justified and authentic? You would think so. These next examples of calls I have taken may change your mind.

Example One

Me: Mennonite Central Committee, this is Liz speaking.

Caller: Oh yes, hi. I have a deck that is rotting and I was wondering if you could send someone to tear it down for me.

Me: *slight pause* I'm sorry, we don't have any staff who do that. We focus on international disaster relief.

Caller: Oh. Don't Mennonites do this sorta thing?

Me: I'm sure there are Mennonite who do, but we are the Mennonite Central Committee,(this is when I wanted to throw in, "...Not the Mennonite Dispatch Service"),if you are looking for a Mennonite church member to help you, you may want to call a church. (Yes I know, shame on me for pawning off this senior citizen to a church secretary, they deal with enough obscure requests as it is)

Caller: Oh. I thought you might want the wood.

Me: Didn't you say it was rotten?

Caller: Yah, well, I thought you could send it somewhere.

Example Two
Liz: ...This is Liz speaking

Caller: Hi there. I was wondering if you could help me. I don't know really think you can, but I thought I would try.

Liz: Okay, I'll see what I can do.

Caller: I'm looking for a picture of an old barn.

Liz: A barn?

Caller: Yes. An old fashioned barn.

Liz: Oh. I see. Did you try the internet?

Caller: Umm...no.

Liz: Or the library might have a book with a picture of one.

Caller: No, I need an actual photograph.

Liz: I'm sorry, we don't have anything like that.

Caller: Okay. Well, if i do happen to find one, can you turn it into a puzzle for me?

Example Three
Liz: ...This is Liz speaking

Caller: Hi, yes, I was wondering if you had any staff members going to Winnipeg this week.

Liz: Let me check the calender...but first may I ask what this is in regards to?

Caller: Well, my son left his good shoes and dress shirt in the dorm at CMU. I was wondering if you had someone who was going there who could pick them up for him. He has a wedding this weekend and I do not want to buy him something new.

Liz: I'm sorry...no one from our office is going to Winnepeg.

I felt like saying, "MCC does not stand for Mennonite Courier Centre"
Grant had a good suggestion that I wish had come to mind while I had this mother on the phone. "You may want to try FedEx or UPS. Chances are they have a truck in the area. You never know, maybe they'll just pick that up for ya."

Seriously people.